Was (Not Was) Born To Laugh At Tornadoes (Return To The Valley Of) Out Come The Freaks Eddie Harold used a tape recorder When he had one of his girlfriends over He didn't want to miss a single scream His friends all laughed when he played it later You had to wonder, did he really hate her? Girls always made him nervous, that's to blame And makin' love was just a crazy game The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks In her apartment was a plastic altar She'd light a candle when her courage faltered Sometimes the world got a little hard to bear It wasn't easy living in the city She wasn't clever and she wasn't pretty She chanted in the night but no one cared The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks Freddie's wife became a topless dancer Had bondage parties with a Turkish bouncer She's been evicted, the police have got her car She tried to sell an antique shotgun She said she knows some crazy guy who wants one Her parents said "You're not our daughter, you're a whore. It's over and you don't live here anymore." The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks The woodwork squeaks and "Strangers In The Night" The woodwork squeaks and "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" The woodwork squeaks and "The Shadow Of Your Smile" The woodwork squeaks and "Take The Last Train To Clarksville" The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks