Poor little fake plant, on the windowsill Sad because you have no chlorophyll So in the sun, you always tend to cry Because you cannot photosynthesize Poor little fake plant, you never were a seed You came straight out of the factory Your stem, your leaves, all petroleum derived You ll never grow; you ll always be that size You see the other plants around the room They get watered, fertilized and pruned But you just get a dusting now and then Oh how you wish that you were one of them It s not just the attention that you crave But having your own code of DNA And feeling like your life is not a sham Earning that certain self-respect that you don t have But hey little fake plant, don t be so distraught Just remember you ll outlive 'em all Or should I say you ll last a longer time Because, well technically, you re not alive Still you do look perfect to be sure And your beauty always will endure Yes, in so many ways you are ideal Except of course for the fact that you re not real Nonetheless, you bring lots of joy When we pretend that you re the real McCoy So cheer up fake plant, look on the bright side If you re not living then, hey, you ll never die