I smile at my shadow as it laughs back at me My hands feel like they're shrinking I can barely feel my feet Reminds me of old Sunday's when the world on its tee Never felt so normal, but so weird, to be a freak Nine times I've lied And nine times you healed Nine times I wondered why you ever stayed with me What if I can't bleed when I cut with your razor? What if I can't see the way you go down? What if I don't know if this is the end all? Nine times I've tried to be with you, my dear If I can paint a picture of the future, I would But darling, I can tell you it won't be easy if I could Never did I feel like I needed relief From the suffering I went through Just to get back on my feet Nine times I've lied And nine times you healed Nine times I wondered why You ever stayed with me Nine times I've shied away from you Nine times I ran away What if I can't bleed when I cut with your razor? What if I can't see the way you go down? What if I don't know if this is the end all? Nine times I've tried to be with you, my dear Nine times Oh, I feel it Nine times Oh, I feel it Nine times Oh, I feel it Nine times Oh, good lord, I feel it