I woke up this morning, but I didn't wake
'Til the afternoon, because I slept in late
With a great mental state and a date with destiny
I'll roll down the block without a copper even stressin' me
Let alone arrestin' me or giving me a ticket
It's coming into summer and the weather's fucking wicked
So I figured I'd be hitting the beach
Look at skinny-dipper's titties and get something to eat
After half a pound of chips and a flounder burger
I'm sitting on my arse like a council worker
Reminiscing about being pissed off about
My house burning down to the ground, and being out on my arse
Before my change of fortune
Now I score tunes, don't get up before noon
So your mama's on the head of my knob
And it's better than heading to my dead-end job
Because the boss was a cockhead when I was a clerk
So I clocked him - and now I don't work
It's beautiful day, and I could use a cliche, 'cause
"I am the greatest!" ...like Cassius Clay
I got the world at my feet, and my toe jam's nasty
(FIGJAM!)
Fuck I'm good, just ask me
I couldn't give a shit about your corporate hierachy
(FIGJAM!)
Fuck I'm good, just ask me
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
I rock around in track-and-thongs
Fucked off a bucket-bong
If you don't like it, you can come suck a long dick.
'Cause I'm brit pop, all the way to hip hop
I get so plastered, you'd think I'm drinking gyprock
But I'm shit-hot, no matter how you look at it
And my lyrics make you wanna read the book-a-let
Don't - 'cause I'm cooking it like the Iron Chef!
That's why I'm deaf, up to the higher clef
(FIGJAM!)
The rhymes are fat like Chief Wiggum and in fact
I never lack it's like a magic pack of Tim Tams
Weatherduck snobs and you sucking on a give-a-damn,
So good on the cut, they should call me Edward Scissorhands
So give a hand for me and my associates (...you suck!)
Well that's just inappropriate
Smoke me a kipper, bitch
I'm from the Ip-a-swich
Side of town, don't forget to write it down
(West si-eeed!)
What the fuck, it ain't gangster rap!
Think you're tougher, then you probably suffer wanker's cramp
And I'll thank you to fuck right off
Professional fuckwits, take one night off
I'm Evil Eddie with a rock-steady microphone mastery
(FIGJAM!)
Fuck I'm good, just ask me
As a concept, the intellect can't grasp me
(FIGJAM!)
Fuck I'm good, just ask me
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
(Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
I got the strong profile, without the help of rhinoplasty
(FIGJAM!)
Fuck I'm good, just ask me
Kicking arse in the cha, but you can't class me
(FIGJAM!)
Fuck I'm good, just ask me
You just had a threesome with your mama and your aunty
(FIGJAM!)
Fuck I'm good, just ask me
And they're coming back this arvo for the bukkake party
(FIGJAM!)
My dick is bigger than a wigwam!
And you can see my peepee three feet above a teepee
If you are getting very sleepy, wake up!
(These cunts need a shake up)
I'm a jet-setter, go-getter, but I got a vendetta
Just got a death threat over the phone, better
Go lay low, underground like a bilby
(FIGJAM!)
Chill man, people wanna kill me!
But I don't let that bullshit sweat me
I'm at your mama's if you wanna come and get me,
You shady fuck, I may be stuck
In a crazy situation but I'm favoured by Lady Luck
You wanna stop me? You'd wanna do it properly!
(Blam! Blam!)
Ah fuck! Somebody shot me!