I was minding my own business late one afternoon
Just driving home working like I always do
With the pains of hunger hitting me pretty hard
Lucky for me I didn't have to go far
Turned in the parking lot, stopped my car
Right under the big yellow sign of the Waffle House
Yeah, I barely walked in off the street when the waitress said
"Howdy, won't you have a seat"
You know that Waffle House, they sure are a friendly bunch
I sit down in a booth right next to a window
Picked up that tiltin' good foodin' menu
Man, I could've eaten breakfast, dinner, and lunch
She told me that the cook's name was Bill
I asked him, "What's that I smell on the grill?"
He grinned and said "It's a double quarter pounder with cheese"
Well I said "That's it I'll order one too"
But the waitress said "Just before you do
Tell me, how would you like to have that burger fixed please?"
Well I shrugged my shoulders and said "whatever you got"
She looked at me and mumbled "what"
I found out fast that was the wrong thing to say
Well there's 844,739 ways to make a hamburger at Waffle House
(You heard that right)
Yeah there's 844,739 ways to eat a hamburger at Waffle House
(I heard each and every one that night)
Well that's one mistake I'll never make again
I thought that list would never end
I learned a lot about combinations that day
She said you can have it rare; medium-well inside
Single, double, or triple fried
Mayo, mustard, lettuce, onions and ketchup too
Pickles, cheese, chili, bacon
Suddenly we've all started shaking
She was running out of air and turning blue
Well I stopped her when she caught her breath
I knew I had to make it fast
It gave me just a second to explain
I thanked her for her lesson well learned but for the benefit
Of all those concerned, I told her
"I think I'll just have my burger plain"
Well there's 844,739 ways to make a hamburger at Waffle House
Yeah there's 844,739 ways to eat a hamburger at Waffle House
Well there's 844,739 ways to make a hamburger at Waffle House
Yeah there's 844,739 ways to eat a hamburger at Waffle House