I have a little monkey He's rather cute in a fez He's a great little monkey! Does whatever I says At the drop of a dime A nickel at that He'll run to and fro And this way and that He plays with the children And the folks who line the sidewalks He feeds on the laughs Applause and the gawks But what he loves more than anything else Are the coins that people throw From their pockets to his little tin cup In they go He collects all the money And puts it into my hat box Throws a big fit When some clown gives him a handful of rocks One day I guess he realized That he was the star of our routine So he got fed up With having to share most of the green I hear he moved out to Hollywood I ain't seen him since last fall See, lately I've been sleeping Inside of a bathroom stall So now I'm alone Trying to make ends meet He may be a chimp But the chump is me