He said, "Pardon me for bein' so bold But you got a cigarette that's already rolled" I gave him one, he lit it in his own good time The smoke in that poolroom hung like a fog When he talked it sounded like a growling dog He said, "Would you care for a dollar on the five or nine?" Now this man was ugly and his eyes were mean His clothes were dirty but his hands were clean He held that stick like a mother holds the hand of her child Well, I've been known to hustle a few When the waitress said, "Was he playing you?" And I said, "Yeah, bring me brandy water by" Little Red Parker was way in the back taking quarters and hadling racks And I told him, "Red, come up here, glue 'em up tight That brandy had me feeling warm, I tipped that waitress And I checked her form And I said, "Honey, you like a winner", and she just smiled I played like a man with a broken wrist, I won two and he won six And I had him set up so I said, "Let's play for five" But this time the crowd had gathered round To see this fish and just watch him drown I told that waitress, "More brandy water by" Then he went out and got a custom cue He said, "It's no offense to you But I don't play off the wall with nobody but friends" He had a gold initials in a leather grip pearly and silver inlaid tip He smiled at me and he said, "Hell-a-way, we play for ten" Well, I never seen a man that walk who made those balls and table talk They're speaking English, he sure didn't need my help He broke the ball and kept that string For a hundred and eighty seven bucks and a ring Till I gave up and said, "Friend, you're gonna have to play by yourself" Well, he racked it up and walked outside And I strolled out just to watch him ride And there was a blonde in their caddy built like the rest of that car The boys in the poolroom they had 'em a laugh And I hung it up and just let it pass And had nothin' but my elbows to put on the bar And the waitress smiled said, "Water by?" I took the charity and thanked her polite And sittin' there sippin' and suddenly I had me a thought Unlucky gambler and lucky in love Guess you know what I was thinking of When I said waitress, "Honey, what time you get off?"