I really like fine dining I like a three course meal I like fine wine and caviar I like a tender veal I like foie gras I like cigars I even like expensive cars I like Rolex watches And I really like a nice ming vase But even more that all of that My one and only secret shame The thing that brings me to my knees The sight of gleaming porcelain I like a big urinal I like Armitage Shanks When I see a toilet I have to do my toilet dance Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing They're fun for boys and girls There are toilets everywhere We live in a toilet world Toilets make me happy They are super great I drop my pants and sit on one When I need to defecate Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing