Typewriter torment, dreadful disease Caught it the first day, I touched the keys Wear down your fingers and churn out your pap It eats up your life like a dose of the clap, again ♪ Typewriter torment it tortures me still If only my doctor could see that I'm ill ♪ Typewriter fever gives birth to a flood Sweeps through your body, curdles your blood You curse and discurse but you're damned for all time The moment your fingers give birth to a rhyme, again Typewriter fever it harries me still If only my doctor would give me a pill ♪ Typewriter fever, I'm worn to a stub I've dumped my Thesaurus and pulled out the plug I'm rending my ribbon and bending my spool Don't bother rewinding, I'm done with it all Why can't my doctor just say that I'm ill? Typewriter fever is paying his bill Typewriter fever it harries me still If only my doctor would give me a pill