Why do I try - sometimes I need reasons For leaving songs after I stop breathing Long after I'm gone - what greater gift will be there If I struggle, if I dig deep, go every night without sleep Torturin' myself till I give every piece away and there's nothing left. Till I don't wanna talk, I don't wanna fuck I just wanna shoot up into space where I can blow up Into pieces that float into nowhere - I wanna go there Where I won't know care, where I won't know existence Resistance, for an instance, for a moment We can fight but every moment will always be lost. I can't believe what you're sayin' now Nothing is real except for pain now Life is a deal I never made now Tossed into skin - I need a way out I had to blow my brains out No matter how we spend our time Every tick of the clock counting down We lose our minds trying to find a way To make it all stop - climbing for years Out of fear that we won't reach the top My hands are numb and I need to just drop I can't believe what you're sayin' now Nothing is real except for pain now Life is a deal I never made now Tossed into skin - I need a way out I had to blow my brains out I need a way out