2017
The first time you messaged me
First fan I ever had
Put me on when you were sad
Said you hated growing up
You were sure that I'd blow up
Shared my songs with all your friends
I could barely pay the rent
Singin' to an empty room
But I knew what I meant to you
You got the XX's tattooed
Reminding me I have you
Never got to thank you
I wouldn't be here without you, without you
Without you believing
And now that I'm here without you, without you
The words have no meaning
No promise was spoken
You're gone and I'm broken
Now, I'm barely holding on, holding on
I wouldn't be here without you
Why am I here without you?
2021
Told me that you've come undone
Lost your job, and lost your dad
Your biggest fan is all you had
X's covered up with scars on your arm
From self-harm
Messaged me, I don't reply
I wish I knew it was goodbye
Singin' to a crowded room
Saved a seat, I looked for you
I made it to your hometown
Guess I'm on my own now
I wish I got to save you
I wouldn't be here without you, without you
Without you believing
And now that I'm here without you, without you
The words have no meaning
No promise was spoken
You're gone and I'm broken
Now, I'm barely holding on, holding on
I wouldn't be here without you
Why am I here without you?
(I wouldn't be here without you, without you)
(I wouldn't be here without you)
♪
This is dedicated
If you put me on your playlist
If you showed up to the stages
If I never get to say this
I'm proud of you
For all the shit that's drowning you
And all the noise surrounding you
Hope you find what I found in you
And I hope that you grow old with me
And we turn up 'til we're 70
Play me at your wedding and you never leave
If you ever need anything
And I don't pick up
Well, you still got a friend in me
Wish I said all that to Heather
Now I just hope she rests in peace