I'm the monopoly rapper!
Peering down at you from the top of the property ladder!
The grandpapa of not getting bankrupt
Will show this man who can properly stack up
I would never proctor and gamble
Your stocks or your assets 'cuz honestly cracker
Pop that top back onto your package
Your chips ain't the type that I'm wantin' to cash in
Oh I'll stick my cane up this balding Mario reject
'Til It's so deep in Mr. Pringles' can, no one can reach it
And see here, I may have collected my fair share of debt and rubbish
Yet Julius owes his name to Wikipedia's edit button
Why, the whole wide world calls my name
I'm in the hall of the board game fame
You're in the store 'til you all decay
'Cuz no one has bought any poor man's Lays'
The more you lose, the more I gain
The more you move, the more I make
When I make you cry, the added salt
Might help improve the taste!
End your turn already, old man
So I can flame you, I'm so board
That lasted longer than your games do
But I ain't new! This is my cool ranch and this
Saddle chips gonna wrangle with you
I'm a snack but I don't crack in the booth
I'mma make you pay like you landed on blue
You're bad for the group
Your game puts households into competitive moods
Don't bank on the mustached man in a flashy new suit
'Less you're wanting a family feud
Created to criticize capitalism
But in the time he transitioned to the actual villain
Couldn't make any change, so exchanged it for pennybags
Giving back to the system he was tasked to get rid of
When Julius wrecks this lobbying lunatic
Then he's losing a set, what you gonna do?
You can sue me at best
I'm holding all the cards like community chest!
As for you plastic's impact on the climate
I don't care at all
Bloke, I'm purely talking jokes
When I say, find new material
The way you spit reminds me of your recent design
'Cuz your quips and rhymes are quite simplified
I wouldn't pay for this and I'll get hate for this
Back in my day, they put "potato" in "potato chips"
That's rich, unlike this petulant fool
I got chips with more cheddar then you
It's astonishing how you keep properties running
When you only get paid in Monopoly money
You're a single pringle, I fit into stacks
Nobody would ever give you a chance
So step up to me, and then your defeat
Will be like your parking, literally free!