Well it's been a long time since you left
I've been thinking quite a lot about the things that you said
We were sitting on the beach
Talking 'bout all your regrets
I'll admit I was relieved
When you didn't say this was one
And I know I'm much too restless
Reel in all my expectations
Work on building up my patience
Too much, it's too much
Too much
Is this progress?
Are you happy?
Are you focused?
I am pissed off
You said, "why is that?"
I hate that you asked 'cause I haven't figured it out myself
And I'm standing in a boiling shower
Trying to slow my racing pulse
I try to breathe, but I can't seem
To stop my trembling hands from shaking
And I know it's been a while since I broke
I've been thinking quite a lot about that time that we spoke
I was laying in my bed
Face first in my phone
When you told me over text that
You think you'd rather be alone
And I know I'm much too invested
Reel in my extensive second-guessing
Forget my regrets and finally go to sleep
But I am too fucking tired to get into bed
So I am lying on the floor, on the carpet instead
And I am buried in my phone and the lives of my friends
I am marinating in nostalgia
There were thirty-something people, a smoke-filled room
And I was dodging conversations while I stared at you
And you were caught up with your friends
But then you turned your head
And you smiled discreetly, waved, then looked away
And you smiled discreetly, waved, then looked away
And you smiled discreetly, waved, then looked away (Is this progress?)
And you smiled discreetly, waved, then looked away (Are you happy? Are you focused?)
And you smiled discreetly, waved, then looked away (I am pissed off. I am pissed off)