The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede
(Matt McGinn)
Oh, the wee Kirkcudbright Centipede, oh, she was very sweet
She was very proud of every one of her hundred feet
Early every morning, her neighbors came to glance
She always entertained them with a beautiful little dance.
As leg number 94 gave 95 a shunt
Legs number 1 and 2 were twisted out in front
Legs number 9 and 10 came wriggling up the side
73 and 74 were doing the parlor glide.
Now her neighbor, Jenny Longlegs, with jealousy was mad
She went out and bought herself a pencil and a pad
She came to look one morning, she made a careful note
Of every step the centipede made and this is what she wrote:
(Substitute Well for As)
Now with her exact notations, little Jenny Longlegs tried
To dance just like the centipede, she failed and nearly cried
She grabbed hold of the centipede, and said, "Now have a look,
Show me how to do this dance I've written in my book."
The centipede said, "Do I do that?" tried to demonstrate
She hadn't thought it out before, and didn't do too great
Her hundred feet got twisted and she wound up in a tangle
She fractured 14 kneecaps, 7 shinbones and an ankle.
(This verse only)
As legs number 1 and 2 were tied with 3 and 4
Legs number 5 and 6 were canceled on the floor
Leg number 17 was attacked by number 10
98 and 99 will never dance again.
Oh, the wee Kirkcudbright Centipede she suffered in terrible pain
And all the bugs were very surprised the day she danced again
And now she tells her neighbors, anyone who comes to see,
Never try an expli-a-tion of what comes naturally.