On my first Christmas I was zero years old
I don't remember but they tell me all about it
It was a silent night till I woke up and cried
"Peace on earth!" somebody shouted
On my first Noel I made a big, bad smell
The merry gentlemen were all dismayed
What child is this going rum-pa-pum-pum?
Hark, the herald angels did say
I was a joy to the world on my first Christmas
Joy to the world on a midnight clear
A joy to the world on my first Christmas
I was zero years old that year
On my first Christmas, I was zero years old
I don't remember but they say it wasn't right
Yuletide caroling and gay appareling
Smelled like away in a manger that night
I was doing all right with my Christmas of white
'Til they had to go and burp me once more
While the shepherds were watching and the sheep were flocking
I was flocking all over the floor
I was a joy to the world on my first Christmas
Joy to the world on a midnight clear
A joy to the world on my first Christmas
I was zero years old that year
On my first Christmas I was zero years old
I don't remember but they say it wasn't right
Just a little drummer boy pounding hammers on the floor
Singing fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la all night
They really don't know how I swallowed that bow
The jingle bell or the one-horse sleigh
But ho, ho, ho, we went dashing through the snow
To the doctor on Christmas Day
I was a joy to the world on my first Christmas
Joy to the world on a midnight clear
A joy to the world on my first Christmas
Wait 'til I tell you what I did the next year