Dear Ron MacLean Dear Coach's Corner I'm writing in order for someone to explain to my niece the distinction Between these mandatory pre-game group rites of submission And the rallies at Nuremburg Specifically the function the ritual serves In conjunction with what everybody knows is in the end a kid's game I'm just appealing to your sense of fair play When I say she's puzzled by the incessant pressure for her To not defy the collective will, and yellow ribboned lapels As the soldiers inexplicably rappel down from the arena rafters (Which, if not so insane, would be grounds for screaming laughter) Dear Ron MacLean, I wouldn't bother with these questions If I didn't sense some spiritual connection We may not be the same but it's not like we're from different planets We both love this game so much we can hardly fucking stand it Alberta-born and prairie-raised Seems like there ain't a sheet of ice north of Fargo I ain't played From Penhold to the Gatineau, every fond memory of childhood That I know is somehow connected to the culture of this game I can't just let it go But I guess it comes down to what kind of world you want to live in And if diversity is disagreement, and disagreement is treason Well don't be surprised if we find ourselves reaping a strange And bitter fruit that sad old man beside you keeps feeding to young minds as virtue It takes a village to raise a child but just a flag to raze the children Until they're nothing more than ballast for fulfilling a madman's dream of a paradise Where complexity is reduced to black and white How do I protect her from this cult of death