"Walk me around!"
"Show me the world!"
"Feed me some food!
Well, if you insist
He always insists
I'm hardly ever in the mood
I need a drink
Perhaps a foot-rub
But that's not how things work where he's from
And tell me, who has the balls?
Since whenever he calls
Never fear, here I come!
"Walk me around"
"Show me the world!"
Go walk yourself!
He can't walk himself
He's only a dog
He grabs his leash from off the shelf
Using his teeth!
Can you believe it?
So, I won't say the creature's not skilled
But I can't help but wish
I instead bought a fish
I know! I'll have him killed
♪
Dies irae! Dies illa!
Rest in peace, Sir Lancelot
Sometimes I called him Lancie
Lot, or sometimes Lut
Sometimes I called him Sir
Sometimes I called him Slut
Not exactly "Friends, Romans, countrymen," but he wasn't exactly Julius Caesar
And, of course, he's not dead
He's home, no doubt elated
For when that clock strikes six
Each need he has gets sated
Each need I have gets nix
I only get to
Walk him around!
Give him a life!
But what about mine?
He wants to be held
He wants to be loved
He wants to be licked where the sun doesn't shine
Well, so do I!
Except that last thing
Although, desperate times, who's to say?
What I'd give for a tryst
But the last thing I kissed
Was a bichon frisé
What if I long
For something more
Or something less
Two legs, not four
Something that can't be found
At the pound!
But 'til then, I'll walk around!
"Walk me around!"
Ha, walk me around!
"Ruff! Walk me around
And around
And around
And around
And around
And around
And around
And around!"