Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write, will you take a look? Based on a novel by a man named Lear And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer, Paperback writer It's the dirty story of a dirty man And his clinging wife doesn't understand His son is working for the Daily Mail, It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer, Paperback writer It's a thousand pages, give or take a few, I'll be writing more in a week or two I can make it longer if you like the style, I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer, Paperback writer If you really like it you can have the rights, It could make a million for you overnight If you must return it, you can send it here But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer, Paperback writer