For years now, there's a story I've wanted to tell There is a story that deserves to be told But I just haven't felt like the world was ready to hear it I still don't believe the world is ready to hear it There's too many cowards in the world But today, I'm gonna take a chance anyway This is a true story that I made up And it involves an elderly woman who is deep into her 90s She's nearin' the end of her life But she doesn't regret anything She's lived a very fulfilling life She's experienced a lot of incredible stuff She went from not even knowin' what cars were When she was younger To usin' cars in her every day life for years She got to experience the Prohibition, the Moon landing, AOL She's got to see it all And now it's startin' to come to an end The curse of all humans is death, and it's a natural thing Or is it? You see, this elderly woman Has actually been pregnant for almost 20 years now She wasn't impregnated by a penis or anything It's not for havin' a lack of sex In fact, she's actually been very sexually active Deep into her 70s, 80s, and 90s She's never stopped fuckin' But she wasn't impregnated due to ejaculate and ovaries You see, this woman is special She's achieved immortality through rebirthin' herself For Millennia now, every time she gets into her deep 70s She gets spontaneously pregnant And carries for roughly 20 years After 20 years is up, she gives birth to a clone of herself As a 20-year-old woman again And that clone has all the memories of the original husk So when she gives birth, and she's in her deep 90s She pops out another younger version of herself Which is a carbon copy of the original As the original fades off into dusk And you can't even really call it the original any more Since she's repeated this process For so many thousands and thousands of years now Some say she existed long before even the Big Bang had occurred This mysterious woman continues to live amongst us in secret But I thought it was time I finally tell her story Of the first immortal