Hey, welcome to Mortal Kombat High School.
You're the new transfer student from Street Fighter High, right?
Yeah, I'm Ken! I like wearing red and making friends, yay!
What's up, I'm Johnny Cage, let me show you around.
I'll introduce you to the crew and tell you how to get down.
That hottie doing homework over there is Sonya Blade.
She's the most popular girl in the whole entire grade.
And that's Liu Kang, his kick flip helped the track team win the relay race.
Mileena's sorta sexy but she's kinda got a butter face.
And over there is Raiden, he's the smartest kid in class.
And this is Shang Tsung, he'll pull your spine out through your ass!
What?
You're in Mortal Kombat High!
Where the girls are fine but there's a pretty good chance you'll die. (Like 105% baby!)
That's right, it's time to test your might!
So take your best friend and impale him on these spikes!
Johnny Cage I don't know if I'm gonna fit in at this school...
Hey, don't worry Ken, the students here are super chill and cool!
Scorpion's romantic, and he's gentle as a deer.
Let's listen to the new love song he wrote, its called "Come Here!"
(La, la, la, la, la, la, la) COME HERE!
(La, la, la, la, la) GET OVER HERE!
This is Goro, he's a demon and he really loves to kill.
He'll pull your nutsack up over your head and roll you down a hill.
And Kano, he is criminally insane oh, by the way though,
If I say so I can make Sub-Zero crush your skull like Play-Doh.
The moral is Street Fighter High can't deal with the fatalities.
And if you fuck with us, your death is individuality.
You'd better watch your back, 'cause we will be watching you closely.
And if you step to us you know that ass is gettin TOAST-YYY!
(Yeah-eah-eahhh!) It's prime time for romance!
And if you tell her your details she'll decapitate you with a fan.
There's a chance you will not survive this dance!
There are so many wondrous ways for us to kill your ass!
Killed at a blood transfusion! (Double Fatality!)
Stabbed while ejaculating! (Masturbatality!)
Eating too much pasta! (Carbohydratality!)
I'm having trouble peeing, that's a Prostatetality!
Killed as you're concieved! (Procreatality!)
¡Muerte Espaniol! (Translatality!)
Cut by triple axel! (Figure Skateality!)
I like it when a girl has a nice personality!
*Cough* I'll see myself out.