It feels so good Oh, that's my shit right there That's the ticket Give me the ticket Give it to me baby You know it I'm too emotional Good luck to my future wives and their future lives without me You guys will do great I'm sure that I've prepared you for every guy you'll date And every guy you'll marry And every guy you'll hate It's the lullabies I sang out of tune thats probably what did it Or my twin size mattress that I had since I was seven That we have to sleep on whenever she spends the night And if she falls off again she'll find another guy to like We're just Romeo & Juliet But getting drunk and eating percocets But just to ease the stress But soft what light, the yonder window breaks It is the east, but Juliet just puked off the balcony How romantic Nothing like getting drunk and getting manic On a mother fucking Monday I-I brush the bangs behind her lovely little ear As she describes in detail how the end is truly near, wow And I'm sure that we can do this for forever Or until we drink the poison, 'cause she sees some cloudy weather As Rosaline, lies in bed, seething, wide awake Because a burning love for Juliet only took a day And if Romeo & Juliet continued to be married Then there's half of a chance That their kids would get embarrassed When all the kids at school all talk about their parents And Romeo Jr. has to say their not together and Junior will dream of the day when he's a man And what he'll do to avoid that 50 percent chance Of his kids feeling the way he feels He'll probably just stick with the Netflix and chill Dear Shakespeare Could you write happy ending please? Could you write a happy ending please? We just deserve a happy ending please, please And every sting from every tear drop From every ring at every pawn shop I'm not missing both my Christmas' Though family would be nice In my dreams my kids are happy And I know that they won't mind One Christmas Just one Christmas Just one Christmas Just one Christmas But dear mom Conversations from a couch have never felt the same Since you looked dad in the eyes And you told him that things are about to change My mom was made from Adam's rib And the marriage went south And the snake came back and asked my mother out to dinner And my dad found out And asked my mom what that's about And she said, "Oh, it's nothing" But dad loves to shout, really loud Loud enough to knock the lamps and dressers to the ground In my memory, I can hear Chopin's Nocturnes playing in the background A slow train wreck, you'll close your eyes But forever hear the sound And boy it's tough 'Cause that's the sound of people falling out of love