I wanna buy up old churches And turn them into strip clubs Slowly, one by one The big gothic backdrops are perfect For slow dances and blowjobs Say, you disagree? Well, find an empty seat This is Brittany I wanna buy up old cemeteries Then sell all the cobblestone henges to workmen And when they ask where I got it I'll tell them from above their grandfathers Oh, I ask you, who works harder? I hope nobody else steals All of my ideas They're so smart Invaluable works of art I'm telling you I got something here Just sign right here A big jug of mescaline, an empty Friday night That sounds like a board meeting The exciting pump of a cold reading I think I got a way To color the eggs that our chickens lay Oh shit they have brown eggs? They have brown eggs We need something on stronger legs I hope nobody else steals All of my ideas They're so smart Invaluable works of art I'm telling you I got something here Just sign right here And if you're into it, we'll build the LLC out I know I'm broke, I know I'm broke But give me mercury, and I'll make you gold