Mardi Gras came and went
All my money has been spent
How am I gonna pay the rent
Sitting on my ass? (Face)
Who mistook the steak for chicken?
Who am I gonna stick my dick in?
We're not those kids
Sitting on the couch
My former life, I was a high roller (my former life, I had a sister)
Walked my kids in a diamond stroller (I abused her and I dissed her)
Found my calling as a part-time bowler (she got swept up in a twister)
Traded my wife in for a new three holer (first I laughed, and then I missed her)
Who mistook these baths for showers?
Who fucked up that Leaning Tower?
We're not those kids
Sitting on the couch
Oh, get on a Greyhound and ride away
Live on birthday cake each day (different dreams than yesterday)
Tell your grandparents that they're gay (tell your grandma, you're okay)
Steal their money and run away (kiss her cheek and run away)
'Cause me and my friends are so smart
We invented this new kind of art (we invented this new kind of dart)
Post-Modernest Throwing Darts (hit a bullseye, cut a fart)
Smoking crack and cutting crack
Who mistook this crap for genius? (I am dancing on the ceiling)
Who is gonna stroke my penis? (Who is gonna hurt my feelings?)
We're not those kids
Sitting on the couch
Oh, people are shiny like a brand-new book (even your mother is a crook)
But if you get a closer look
There's shit on every hand you shook (there's shit on every road you took)
If you don't believe me, look at your hand (if you don't believe me, read the book)
Who made all these things for killing? (Somebody's making a killing)
Whose pussy hole needs filling? (Whose empty heart needs filling?)
We're not those kids
Sitting on the couch
Who mistook the steak for chicken?
(Who am I gonna stick my dick in?)
We're not those kids
Sitting on the couch
Sitting on the couch
Sitting on the couch
Sitting on the couch