Me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs All in two rooms with one bed So we slept on the towels and rugs But ah! We were young and vaguely in love And who needed money or drugs? Not me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs Fred was only twenty-two So everything he said was true Sweet as a clumsy puppy dog But expletive! Could that boy snog Me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs All in two rooms with one bed So we slept on the towels and rugs But ah! We were young and vaguely in love And who needed money or drugs? Not me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs Dave offered me the presidency Of the Log Cabin of New Jersey I'm not sure who he thought I was But I smiled and nodded because Me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs All in two rooms with one bed So we slept on the towels and rugs But ah! We were young and vaguely in love And who needed money or drugs? Not me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs Ted the All-American male Had recently got out of jail For asking money of someone A John while flourishing a gun Me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs All in two rooms with one bed So we slept on the towels and rugs But ah! We were young and vaguely in love And who needed money or drugs? Not me and Fred and Dave and Ted And the dog and the cat and the bugs