On one hand I see something I've been taught I need But I've learned that the wolf that lives is the one I feed I have everything I've ever wanted But once I have it I wish I wasn't chained to it So my first reaction is to set it on fire Have I been confused, is there like a balance in my perspective Can I even move forward without feeling so left out I never thought I'd be the one to do this Is there a way to hold the keys but not have to drive Or not hurt so much and still choose to be alive 'Cause I wanted to be the villain But now that I'm here I just want to feel anything I've learned that everyone makes mistakes And now I wanna to make something else It wasn't until it felt like I'd fallen on the floor Or I realized someone could only love me with true unconditional love No framework, no preconceived mold, no hidden motive 'Cause I'm hard to love and I bring my own fall But searching for that love is like trying to hold running water It might be there at the moment but it always slips Now that everyone's gone I've learned that I helped create that poison When you let an audience tell you, you can do no wrong The first human reaction is to emotionally rob them I let people who don't care about me fulfill my needs I let a psycho form and then I push myself to let that psycho repeat You can't change what you don't acknowledge You can't change those you don't understand And I can't change all that damage That I've dealt I wanna look myself in the eyes Strip away the layer of music and try and say I don't care about the bullshit I just want to share something new, finish each chapter Even if I don't stick the landing, I'm not afraid of failure I'm not afraid of you And I can tell you that I'm amazing But I'd rather just tell you the truth My old habits die hard They fester and thrive on my insides And the roller coaster I've built has become quite the ride What was supposed to be contentment has changed with the passage of time Because even when I write some words about how I need to be less selfish This is still all about me