Seein' double, livin' single Night club frustrated tryin' to mingle There's a girl dancin' over there She's got very fascinating hair But i can't work up the nerve to do my schpeel With my big foot stuck in my mouth I end up talkin' like a heel Cuz i'm a loser, not a schmoozer And a no luck in woman cruiser I'm a dog without a leash, a jigsaw puzzle lookin' for a piece I'm a kid without a toy, i am the world's forgotten boy Why can't i work up a silly nerve to talk no shit Like a square peg, stuck in a hole, i just don't fit Cuz i'm a loser, not a schmoozer And a no luck woman cruiser Not a wheeler or a dealer She's on a pedestal and i'm a kneeler I'm a loser and a boozer I'm a loser, not a schmoozer Never ever gonna be a chooser The prince of fools, the king of pain It's enough to drive a poor man insane I'm lookin' hard but i fear Another lonely night bartender gimme a beer Why do i even try, i get the same old line She said my boyfriend's much bigg than you I said what a waste of time Oh my god that girl just winked at me So i worked up my courage, feels like i'm gonna pee I said baby, she just froze She said did your mother dress you Where'd you get those clothes