Seein' double, livin' single
Night club frustrated tryin' to mingle
There's a girl dancin' over there
She's got very fascinating hair
But i can't work up the nerve to do my schpeel
With my big foot stuck in my mouth
I end up talkin' like a heel
Cuz i'm a loser, not a schmoozer
And a no luck in woman cruiser
I'm a dog without a leash, a jigsaw puzzle lookin' for a piece
I'm a kid without a toy, i am the world's forgotten boy
Why can't i work up a silly nerve to talk no shit
Like a square peg, stuck in a hole, i just don't fit
Cuz i'm a loser, not a schmoozer
And a no luck woman cruiser
Not a wheeler or a dealer
She's on a pedestal and i'm a kneeler
I'm a loser and a boozer
I'm a loser, not a schmoozer
Never ever gonna be a chooser
The prince of fools, the king of pain
It's enough to drive a poor man insane
I'm lookin' hard but i fear
Another lonely night bartender gimme a beer
Why do i even try, i get the same old line
She said my boyfriend's much bigg than you
I said what a waste of time
Oh my god that girl just winked at me
So i worked up my courage, feels like i'm gonna pee
I said baby, she just froze
She said did your mother dress you
Where'd you get those clothes