Take off your mink coat, take off your muff Get on the table and show us your stuff Right here next to me I'm a fat old man, sweatin' and huffin' A gin in my hand and your pretty little muffin Right here next to me Just don't feed me with no tube Or change my dirty diaper If I'm back at mommy's boob Call in the frickin' snipers And just shoot me, baby Stuff me in the cracks, Stuff me In the toilet, sweetie, put me in the trash But be next to me Send me to my room, hold me down And spank me, use the wooden spoon But be next to me Just don't feed me with no tube Or change my dirty diaper If I'm back at Mommy's boob Call in the frickin' snipers And just shoot me, baby Dip me in the river You'll never wash my dirt away Rip out my liver, baby But be next to me Just don't feed me with no tube Or change my dirty diaper If I'm back at Mommy's boob Call in the frickin' snipers And just shoot me, baby