Swimming through floods of tears,
Rays of anguish pounding me.
My will to live diminishes with each wave of affliction
That breaks my weakened existence.
It bothers me to know that I have been here before.
I assured myself that I'd never return to this solitary site,
Believing I was rescued once and for all.
I thought it was a lesson I could learn,
But somehow I'm back here,
At the reunion of repressed memories,
Caught in the vicious circle of self-oppression,
Anxiety, fear, and uncontrollable thoughts.
The cold water numbs my limbs; I'm losing focus again,
Trying desperately to remember the details of my last rescue,
Clinging to the hope of finding the safe rocks again.
The light from the lighthouse flickers once more,
And dies as the demons of death are closing in.
Overrating my capacities, denying the weakness of my flesh,
I tried too hard and fell, slipped down the slippery cold rocks,
And now I'm back into the relentless sea.
Lies are caging me;
Hatred, bitterness, and self pity.
Why this injustice?
Or am I too blind to see the outcome of my actions?
I hate me for not trusting You.
I hate that I let them get to me.
Why do I have to be here at all?
You are my Lord regardless of my feelings;
Rescue my again;
Pull me up, and let me dry.
Place my feet on the rock, and let me see the
Sunshine once more.